Talent Show

A few days back, I was just thinking about the time when I was less shy, more bold and not a follower but a leader. What happened to that Megha I wondered. I actually know the answer to that, but that is for another post. What is for this post is this wonderful memory from a long time ago...

I think we were in 9th or 10th grade. I am inclined to think it was the 9th. So we had to put up little talent shows in celebration of the school's b'day. (Interesting tidbit here, our school's birth date is 23-4-56. (23rd April, 1956) Cool right!)
So we were all tasked with coming up with a creative program. A song, a dance, a skit something. Now I wasn't exactly a part of the coolest kids on the block, but neither was I part of the not-cool-at-all kids. I was in between and I was pretty happy with where I was. There was no pressure in the place and I had innumerable friends and people who loved me and I loved and it was all a happy place. Now when this talent show came about, we didn't know what to do. The cool kids were going to be performing dances from all the happening numbers - "Resham ka rumaal", "Madho rama.." and we weren't invited to that party. And it wasn't that we were dying to be invited to it, we just didn't want to feel talent-less?

So somehow, one thing led to another and I found myself organizing a dance and guess who was the choreographer? Yes, the happy young me. Not only that, we didn't have the song on cassette, in the voice of Ila Arun or Asha Bhonsle. So my plan was to actually sing the song! I am not exactly a novice at dancing, I have 6 years of Kathak training under my belt or foot and hands. But singing - well let's just say, when I used to go for singing lessons, the teacher was more keen on my playing the harmonium, which of course I could play easily.

So my partner in crime R, set the wheels in motion and got a few girls together. Now the absolute best part about these talent shows and such was we could bunk classes! And naturally we picked the most sleep inducing classes to bunk, namely Geography.

Word got out and soon, girls from all the different sections of the standard we were in, wanted to perform too. My memory is a bit foggy here, how many of us eventually ended up on the stage. But the D day came and all the girls dressed in their Gujarati finery (did I mention it was a Gujarati, dandia song?) got up on stage.

It all happened so quickly that I didn't have time to react, that me, with my bass-less voice, was behind the mike singing and making a bunch of giggly, giddy girls dance to my moves! Although our show was no where near the quality of the other group, ( that was orchestrated by A, she is a bollywood choreographer now), I have very fond memories of this event. How this bunch of girls trusted my dance moves and as uncool as they were, got up on stage and danced and looked bloody beautiful doing it.

Cheers to all of you!

In an earlier post, I wrote about my talentlessness. I think I know what my state is, it is not lack of talent...It is the incapableness in me to learn any one thing in its entirety, I give up before I have learnt it all...

for instance when I started to learn kathak( N.Indian dance form) I learnt for 5 years, took 2 exams and 1 more exam wud've earned me a degree, I used to really enjoy dancing, but gave up...then painting, i learnt sketching, coloring with water colors, pastels, the last leg was oil painting and I gave up right then...I used to love playing Volley Ball in school, but the moment I got out of school, I gave up on that too...Swimming, once I got comfortable in the water, and could splash around, I didn't hv the urge to go into the deep or to learn different strokes...

so many more instances cloud my mind when I have given up things half way or half done...

does this mean I am an escapist? I don't think so, cause I never run away from my problems, I will always face them, I will always face the enemy and make sure that I have said what it is I wanted to say, I give all job interviews seriously, unless it's a company I don't care about, I read a book cover to cover, never leave it half done....so given all this, am I an escapist I wonder....

or am I plain lazy...And if the things I have learnt to do had faster results I would enjoy doing them more or finish them...In essence nothing can be learnt in totality, but there is a point in time when one can say that given the circumstances and the resources available, I have learnt all that I could...

do I yearn for appreciation of my work to actually want to practice it? I don't think even that is true, for I have been appreciated for my painting prowess in the past, but I still haven't found the encouragement to learn more and do more...though i have been debating with the idea of joining oil painting classes for soem time now...and i will probably take it up soon...

so I am still wondering how my mind works, what is it that stops me from learning more, from completing a task....is my public fright so powerful that it surpasses e'thing else?...is it so difficult for me to accept the fact that I can actually do something that might not seem very creative or beautiful to the beholder but it is still wonderful for I conceived it...no I don't think so, I do a lot of things for my own satisfactions and pleasure, for my peace and happiness....

so I am still thinking how this warped brain works....And there is so much more thinking yet to do....