My Sins Against Gender Stereotypes

My Sins Against Gender Stereotypes – tagged by IHM

This is a tag from Anu:

If you are a woman,

Have you ever wanted something that is considered ‘manly’ ? Like a basketball, a cell phone, a dog, a camera or a new laptop? A new car or motor bike? Ever wanted to be a pilot? A doctor or not a nurse? And the manliest want of them all – The remote!

As a kid did you enjoy playing with a bat and a ball?

There was a time when books were considered ‘manly’, women authors had to pretend to be men – would you say books are still rather manly – women should want to embroider and crochet?

If you are a man,

Have you ever wanted something that only women are supposed to want – like bags, shoes, clothes, creams, perfumes, babies, flowers? A peaceful home and a happy family? Have you ever been afraid of the dark or of insects?

As a kid did you ever want to play ‘teacher-teacher’, cooking or did you like playing with a doll? Have you ever enjoyed cooking? Bought something in pink? Loved chocolates?

So Anu is right in saying that I when I read about this Tag on IHM's blog, I thought it to be a weird tag. But after reading a few posts on it, I started thinking, it might actually be interesting!
So here goes:
1. I am not the kinds who will sit pretty and not get my hands dirty, be it to change tires, haul things or help people move.
2. I love a lot of sports and it's not just in passing, but actually watching. Can't say the same for playing, I used to love playing volleyball in school, didn't keep it up after that.
3. I absolutely love reading about gadgets and if I can have them, then even better. Laptops being the most important.
4. I love to discuss politics.
5. I absolutely hate shopping! Detest it with a vengeance.
6. I hate the color pink, I have exactly 1 pink top in my closet.
7. I hate saying 'What's going on Babe' or some such thing to my girl friends.
8. I would much rather wear comfy shoes than wear pretty ones.
9. I prefer action packed thriller movies to chick flicks.
10. I have exactly 3 close girl friends + my sister. Most of my best friends are boys. (It's just happened that way, I haven't consciously done that. It's easier for me to talk to guys than girls.)

Alright, so here's my tag list.
1. Akansha Because I want to see if you come up with anything :)
2. J Man Would be fun to get a Man's POV.
3. Rajat, I know you don't have a blog, you can use my space here, but I want to know what your girly ways are :D

It turned out to be a fun blog. I have not mentioned some things from my childhood, where in girls always treated me suspiciously because I was too boyish for them :D

Newhoo, fun tag, thanks for tagging Anu!

Being busy

I have begun to notice how a number of us always have the same answer to the question 'How are you?' Ubiquitous answer : 'BUSY'. Or answers with the word busy in it.

Why are we all so busy? Or are we really busy? Do we like it? Do we surround ourselves with so much to do and then complain that we are busy?

I think lately, the trend is to be busy. I have noticed it in my extended family and in my friends. The moment you ask them what is going on, the first thing that pops out of their mouth is 'Busy
' . And when they say it there is a glee in their eyes. And when I tell them I am fine and life is good, they are surprised by my reaction. As if expecting a completely different answer.
Some of my family members will come up and to me and ask me 'Aur kaisa chal raha hai, busy busy'? And I am very perplexed, because I am not busy really. I have a job, which maybe gets demanding sometimes, but I usually don't carry the work home. I make good use of the 8 hours I am at work. When I come home, my time is for my family and friends and the things I want to do. Cooking is a fun thing, it does not make me busy. Having kids and playing with them, bathing them, feeding them, doesn't make me busy. Having a husband and spending time with him doesn't make me busy. Exercising is a choice, it again doesn't make me busy. We love to watch movies, we make time to do. We love to go out, we make time to do it. We love our friends and family and we will make time to do it. None of these activities make us busy.
I don't understand the people who say they are always busy or have 'chores' to finish. Why is it that your life is so complicated.

About falling sick and what matters most

The past few months have been not so nice to me health wise.
First the pregnancy, I had hyper tension through out my pregnancy and I was forced to stay home most of it, including working from home.
After that got over, heartburn took over and I had to take a few days off for tests and Dr visits.
Now it seems I have gallstones and I will again need some time off for tests and an maybe surgery.
During all this, my family, esp G and my Mom have been super duper supportive and helpful. And I cannot thank the Nanny enough, for just being there and giving me peace of mind knowing my babies were safe, at home and being fed.
But the one person I have not thanked enough is my Boss, J. He has been extremely supportive and let me do my thing - i.e. get better. I have not slacked at work, I always work around all my numerous Dr visits. But it still means a lot to the boss, because he is still answerable to people above him and my peers. I really don't know if there is that much pressure on him, but he's never made me aware of it and I really appreciate that. (We had a round of layoffs, I came out unscathed and he told me he had my back, isn't that awesome?)
Even with the kids being so small, he lets me work from home sometimes and that is the single most important thing that anyone has done for me, apart from my Mom being there to help us with the birth and the first few months of course. Being a new parent is never easy, but our world couldn't have been as comfortable as it has been had it not been for him. Once somebody had asked me what I thought of him and I had meant it then and mean it now "he's the best boss anyone could get".
Boy..total suck-up post this sounds like. But seriously it is not that. He doesn't know of the existence of this blog and I am not writing this to get any brownie points. I truly am very grateful to him. You totally Rock JHB.

Why not the whole shibang?

This is something which always bothers me. Should I be happy that I finally know the news? And ignore that I wasn't part of the tumultuous thought process that went into it? Or should I be mad? Because someone who calls me their best friend or the one person they cannot live without telling, wasn't informed. I know that there are things people don't want to share, but then why call me the most important person and then have these special off limit topics?
Am I wrong?
In the end, I am happy for the person of course! There is no way that I am not happy, but there is this little worm in my head that keeps telling me that I should have known from the start and not when all is happy and all smiles. I would have liked to be there for you my friend, I am not a fair weather friend, as you very well know.
If you are reading this post and you think it is you, then yes it is you! :D

My-brother-hit-me (NOT)

On Saturday, 15th May, I am in the kitchen, G is out, the kids are in their gym. The kids are getting very mobile, pushing their way 5 inches or so :) I always lay the kids down far enough, so they don't harm each other, but it really doesn't work anymore because they move towards each other so easily.
Suddenly, I hear Manya cry very loudly. So I run to see what's happened and sure enough Neev has his chubby little hand near Manya's head, and she is bawling. I immediately put some distance between them, laughing and thinking to myself, this is where it will begin 'Mom, Neev is being mean to me'.
Fast forward to today, again both the kids are in the gym, fairly apart, and this time I am sitting and watching them perform their antics. Suddenly Manya begins to cry, Neev is far from her and I am watching and she cries for no apparent reason. That is when I think, so maybe the other day also Neev hadn't really done anything to her and she was crying for a different reason. (Sorry Neevou, I was very quick to put blame)(This time she was crying , I think, because of a heavy diaper). Who knows what had happened before.
Nehoo..the kids are getting bigger and stronger. They have been on the verge of flipping over for 2 months now, but just wont do it. Both get stuck because one arm is in their way and they cannot figure out what to do. I don't know if I should freak out or not. All other milestones are in place. I will wait for the Dr's appointment this month.
My babies will be 6 months this month, I cannot believe how fast they are growing!!!

in a few years time...

..when you guys can read, you will laugh at yourselves. My little rut rags :)

Manya, you have a mind of your own, a very determined mind, mind you! (heh, i like how that sounds).
You love the mobile on your crib, you will be crying bloody murder but the moment I put you in the crib, for 2 minutes there is utter peace and quite. After having seen the mobile no less than a thousand times, it still fascinates you. For a full two minutes (and depending on my state of mind, that can very long or very short) you will be transfixed with it. It will not be moving or giving out any music, but just the hanging cats will keep you mesmerized.
And then suddenly remembering your purpose in life, you will start again.

In other occasions, when life is more settled and the purpose of life is to 'talk'. Manya will talk the ears off of the little cats hanging from her mobile. 'Umm Umm' and so on .. it's the cutest sound in the world.
You patiently lie down waiting to be swaddled, even smiling at us, when we set you down in your crib, it takes you exactly 5 minutes to get one arm and one leg out. Those 5 minutes are such fun. O, my little monster, you love to challenge your parents don't you?
You hate being on your tummy. You cry and cry, your face gets all red and you get so hot. And when you turn over, you don't realise that the misery is over, you still cry for a few minutes and then it's a funny laugh.
Manya darling ( I say it like Mona Darling)..I love you so much. I like your determined mind, always be the same, but always use it constructively ;)

Neev, you have the cutest smile :) You smile like your Dad and it makes my heart ache. I just love the gurgling laugh you laugh at no prompting at all. You laugh with your mouth open and many a times when I am on the phone with your Dad, particularly angry about something and you guys are not around, he will say to me 'think about Neev laughing with his mouth open' and it makes me smile and all is well with the world again :)
You like tummy time better than Manya, you just lie there, chilled out. You love the TV, every time you hear the TV, you crane your neck to see it. Twisting and turning just to get one glimpse. You have a very active peripheral vision, if we so much as cross it, you sense us and then want to be held. You have become very strong. If you don't want the bottle, you can flick it out of our hands. You love to 'talk' too, in your own funny and cute way, you're discovering new voices so you love to experiment.
You both can turn over now, but don't really want to do it all the time. You guys are also discovering each other and like to lie down side by side. You guys often smile at each other. Your Dad and I can watch you for hours. It's our favourite pass time. If your Dad and I are alone, guess what our favourite topic is!! :)
Happy 5th month B'day babies.

8 weeks old

Today is my first day back to work after the twins were born. It's so hard to imagine that so much has happened since the last time I sat on this chair!!!
The last time I was in the office was on the 9th of December, I was in for my 1/2 a day a week in the office. After that I am coming today to work and that too for a full day!

14th Dec now seems like it was so long ago.
I dont want to write about my birthing experience, but I do want to write about the moments around it. So on 13th (Sunday) I had been feeling uneasy all day, a headache had been plaging me. We had gone to Walmart the day before and I had a little pain also, but the usual Braxton Hicks, nothing out of the ordinary. I had checked my BP and it was fairly high. I just decided to rest and take it easy. By evening I had major anxiety and Mom suggested I take my BP again. It was high again (157/90). At this point we decided we would call the Dr and see. She suggested I go to the hospital as a precaution. We had originally been planning to go for a drive to calm my nerves, so we were all dressed (Mom, G n I). But now we needed to be better prepared. So we got the already prepped Hospital Bag, put Dodo in the crate, gave him food and water, not sure when we would be back and G packed his laptop.
In the triage, they monitored my BP, heartrate and that of the babies, my BP was not coming down, infact it shot up more and so it was decided that the Dr would operate in the morning. I was super glad about this, because I didn't want my babies born on the 13th (I am superstitious that way ;) )

We were all very excited that night, G n Mom barely got any sleep, I was thankfully given meds to calm down and so I slept. At 4 G left to get Mom, I was supposed to go into surgery at 7. The prep started at 6:30. I could see Mom was very tense, I am not sure how I was, I think I was very curious about the whole process more than anything else. From the birthing class we had attended we knew that I wouldn't feel a thing during the CS. I nonetheless asked my sister and she confirmed, it wouldn't be anything. I remember crying in the OT when G came in, he had been taken to a different room to change. Mom was waiting outside. When I saw G, I couldn't stop crying. I realised I was scared for the babies. G kept saying soothing things to me. O how I love him. He had even remembered to bring the cell phone chargers to the hospital. At 7:15 they gave me the spinal numbing meds and @ 7:20 out came Manya and at 7:21 Neev. There is nothing I can say which can properly say how we both felt at that moment. It was a while before I was given my babies to see and touch. And much later almost 2 hours later I held them for the first time and fed them.

And here we are today, 8 weeks old today.
It's been such a roller coaster with our little babies. I cannot imagine how lucky we have been. I appreciate motherhood and parenthood more and more each day. It's not easy bringing up kids. I am just very thankful to God to have given us this opportunity.

My Mom has been the pillar of strength that I always knew her to be. Despite her own physical limitations, she has given us all the comfort a new Mom needs. Again this is something close and special to me and I cannot write about it.

More on Neev and Manya later.

It's my first day back and I miss my babies so much. Ok, gotta go call them.