The year that was - 2010

Has to be the most exciting in our lives!
Although the twins were born in 2009, but this is the year when they started doing things other than sleeping and eating.

So! this was the year with a lot of changes! Not only did G n I became parents in the proper sense of the word, our babies are on their way to becoming toddlers. My sister, the lifeline of my stay here in the US, moved away to another city. After having lived in the same city for over 7 years, this was a huge change. But she came back home when the kids turned 1, so that was nice.

My BIL and SIL came over to the US for the first time in their lives, and they thoroughly enjoyed their visit. I am so glad they got to come here, something G n I have wanted for a long time.
I got to see both my parents twice this year! How cool is that?! M got to visit almost all my family and G's family that mattered. She is one lucky girl. I left my 11 month old son for 2 weeks. I will probably never let myself forget how awful that felt and how much I missed him. G was a splendid Dad, but I felt terrible the whole time. I don't think we'll be doing that ever again.
Though I didn't face being laid off myself, I have experienced it through others and it's something I don't wish on anyone. Work atmosphere has changed, I am constantly worrying about my job and that is not a happy place to be.
Mr O made promises to change the world, he did none of that, this year too.

I have started on a healthy life style and though it took a back seat in the last month, I am going to be on the wagon most of next year. I have goals and I will achieve them!
I look back on the year gone by and there is not one day or one minute that I think I should have lived differently. I am glad for the choices I have made.
Some people who were dear to me, are not so much anymore and again, that is something I have my peace with.
This year was not the happiest of times for some people I know, maybe for others too. But I plan on making it another successful and happy year, so just you wait 2011, just you wait!

Happy New Year to all those people who read me up occasionally!
Thanks a bunch!!!

Etiquettes

And so we are here again, I am going to rant about invite etiquette.
Thankfully it will not be a long post, I have too much work going on ;)

So, it was the babies birthday and I had sent invites a month before the party. Plus I had called everyone on the list and made sure they were personally invited.
All this 'personal' touch not withstanding it took some people 2 calls, an email plus a paper invite to get back to me.
So here's the question, how long does it take for anyone to look at their calendars, consult their family and get back? If it is their party, wouldn't they want everyone to revert back to them ASAP. Obviously yes! It takes planning to organize a party, there is the food, the deco, the return gifts. All these depend on the invites, don't they? There was a time when I started thinking I was begging people to come ! Such 'friends' I have!
So where is the line drawn? Do you call once and wait for the person to get back to you? Or you think, maybe this person is really genuinely busy and call or write to them again. But that should definitely be it right?

I was so disgusted with a few folks, that I wanted to really tell them how I felt. But that is not my nature, so I refrained. But next time, I am going to be more crass! If you are reading this blog and are put off by my tone...I am sorry. But I was frustrated (probably still am).
Will post a smiley, cheery post soon...

Happy Birthday My Babies!!!

Happy Birthday my monkeys!!! We love you both so much! And your Dad and I are just overwhelmed at how fast this year has gone by and you guys are 1 year old today!
I wish you could see my inbox or my phone or my facebook page. We have been showered with wishes from EVERYONE!!!
I feel like it is my Birthday :)

Your party is on Saturday, I am overwhelmed by it, but your Mausi is coming and I know I will be calm then. I hope the two of you grow up to be more crazy about each other than how your Mausi and I are. More love, more warmth.

Love you, Love you, Love you!!!!

Can't wait to hug you guys again (i.e. when I go home :D)

Love
Ma

Guess who..

has 3 teeth and loves Aloo patha???

has 2 teeth and likes jeera aloo???

Answer Index:
1. N
2. M

India again

This is how I was feeling the last time i was going to India. Today, 17 days before departure, it's a different story. I am going for my brother's wedding mostly and will see most of the family. But this time, I am not at all excited. Lots of reasons. G and N are not accompanying us, the 2 Ms.

Although I am worried about G and N, I am mostly worried about us. How will M and I manage without the boys. We haven't spent a single day away from N since the day he was born, how will we bear it? And likewise for G, although he has traveled, how will he manage not being with the M? I know G n I will miss each other too.

My heart is full again, I cannot write. But this is going to be a very adventurous trip for the 4 of us! Once I am back, I will write my experiences of traveling with an infant and the fun it entails ;)

Working Mom guilt strikes

My kids have a really nice Nanny. She is tolerant and patient. The kids esp. M love her! And that must mean that I am very happy with the situation right? WRONG!
So here's what happened. A few days back, I worked my butt off drove an hour each way (just trying to emphasize how hard I have to work to get the ketchup on the table ), I reach home and the kids are happy and lolling around. They see me and give me a big smile, when I go to grab M so I can kiss that face, she turns away. She goes to the Nanny and refuses to come to me. She's just happy there. My feelings really hurt, I turn to N and pick him up. He's a good boy though and does the dutiful laughing and gurgling. But my heart is aching and so I go again to M, but she is happy in her Auntie's lap. I put on a brave face and don't let my feelings show. A few minutes after, the Nanny leaves and now I am M's center of the world. Smart child this?!

Everyday, I get to spend at the most 4 hours with the kids. I reach home at 6 and the kids get sleepy by 8-8:30. I get a little bit over an hour in the morning with them. That's it!
But this past week, has been worst! I have been leaving home at 7 and reaching home around 7, so I get not even 2 hours with them. And those 2 hours include getting dinner on the table and having my laptop on and trying to write a few lines of code in between feeding the kids, playing with them, changing them etc etc. I feel terrible. I miss them so much!
So this weekend, I made the most of it. I spent as much time with them as possible, did the whole Ashtmi pooja with them, made them some halwa and then we all loaded up in the car and we spent half the day shopping for the twinardoes. And might I just add that shopping for boys sucks, whereas it is a paradise for girls! Got the cutest outfits for M. Poor N though is stuck with blue and brown. Sorry N, I will look elsewhere for your clothes.
But back to my guilt, Monday mornings are the worst! The weekends seem to rush by and then Monday morning comes. Although the kids don't cry when we leave, but it's the most frustrating thing to do.
What doesn't help is Mom friends who stay at home. One such friend when holding M says to her, 'You are with Mom every day....i mean the whole weekend...' I was dumb founded. Was there the need of the correction and stress the point?
A neighbor was very frank when she told me the other day, that she sends her kid to a certain day care because it is worry free, they even don't ask you to give diaper or formula. And you can drop the kid off as early as 6:30. She said candidly, I know I don't have to worry and I can go to work as early as possible come back by 4:30. She didn't feel bad at all saying this and when I told her I respected her attitude, she told me she doesn't care for others, what works for her she does, the others be damned. Her kids were happy too and didn't mind it. They have a routine too and they love sleeping in on weekends, much to the Mom's happiness. Now isn't that nice?
But I am sure people will find fault with this and will tell her how she is a horrible Mom for waking her kids up that early etc etc. There is no winning situation.
I don't know If I would rather stay home and be with the kids. I guess in a idle world yes, but the way things are right now, I have to go to work everyday. Every day when I close the door behind me, as I leave for work, I wish for a few more minutes with the kids. I have no idea where the time went and they got so big. They are 10 months now.

Where were you?

Like the 9/11 in the US, Babri Masjid demolition in Ayodhya, India is probably another incident that Indians talk about and ask, 'where were you that day'? (I have quite a few others too, like Godhra and first Iran-Iraq war etc etc)

Today, being the day when the judgment was passed, I can't help but think about that day in 1992. It was a Sunday, my Dad was not home and we were in a small town of Bihar, but now the capital of Jharkhand, Ranchi. Our family friends Uncle V had come over, we were celebrating Auntie's Birthday. I was 12 years old, and my memory is not vivid, but I do remember standing outside, while seeing them off, and the parents talking about the happenings in Ayodhya. Mom was not happy with the way things were going, she is and was a secular. Uncle V and Auntie were also very upset and agitated. But that was that, we big good bye and went off to sleep.

Next day, we all set about in our regular routine. My sister and I rode our bicycles to school, Mom went to work. Not unaware of the riots brewing in the different parts of the country, but thinking we were so far removed, nothing would happen here.

School started, everything was going on schedule, the dreaded Monday test etc. Around lunch time, we started hearing a lot of noise outside, our teachers huddled and we were told to not come out of our class rooms. The windows, though made of glass, were shut and the doors were closed. The noises kept growing. I don't think, we the students, were panicking, or at least, I don't remember being scared then. So theories started forming, I being a staunch BJP/RSS hater, was very mad at the situation. My BF was on the other side. We didn't see eye-to-eye on this one issue. So anyway, for some reason, some of us left the class room and went outside, in the corridor, and we saw this whole mob outside the school. There were young boys, wearing the 'Shri Ram' bandanna. They were arguing with the principal and the teachers and I could see some parents in the far distance too. I then realised what the issue was. The mob outside wanted the principal to close the school down! I remember the exact instance when fear gripped me. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if Mom knew what was happening, Dad was not in town, what would we do. I hated those boys instantly.

The principal gave in and I think there was a time crunch, and we were asked to leave. This was 18 years ago, there wasn't a policy of kids having to be accompanied by their parents or some such thing. We were allowed to ride our cycles back home. There used to be 100s of us on cycles. I think there were 15 or so of us who used to ride together. So we all took our cycles and I remember not being scared of the mob when I walked past them, my sister close by. I just walked, my head held high, like in my little brain that somehow meant we were not giving into their demands.

We reached home safely, Mom came home shortly afterwards. We got a nice break from school for a couple of days and things went back to normal for us.

Mr Advani did his shameful deed and we all had to suffer for it. Such a useless fight this, there is no winner, so why fight it? There is no answer and the ruling on the case has not given anybody a reason to cheer, THANK GOD, for that!

I have nothing more to write on this account, nothing that will be new anyway. I am just sad that this is a part of our history, and we are going to live the consequences of it forever.

Shout Out

In the past two weeks, I have come across some people who told me that they read my blog, I was pleasantly surprised. So here is a shout out to you! Thanks for reading the random babbling of a crazy mind ;)

The kids are now 9 months old. They couldn't be funner! They are crawling and trying to reach up. Neev loves to stand on his knees. It's his favorite stance. Manya likes to reach for things, the table cloth that is hanging for instance! They like to get on top of each other too! And something they did yesterday, totally melted my heart (yeah the same one which has melted million times over in the past year and a half). While they were having dinner, they sought each others hands and held onto each other. It wasn't easy, coz they were in high chairs and Mom was sitting there trying her best to feed. But somehow they managed it.

All this while Dodo wasn't a happy camper. But a few changes we've made has made him more comfortable around the kids. He actually follows Neev around the house. He even tries to play catch me with Neev, but Dodi has learn't that he always wins, so it's pretty pointless right now ;)

In other news the girls in the family are planning to take a trip to the Motherland later this year. Yippee!!! Although I have to say I am very apprehensive about it and least bit for G n N. They will have a fun time here. G already has plans to visit his bum chums in Austin - his other home! I am worried about us. How we will manage and how things will be. We also wonder how the kids will be and if they'll miss each other? We'll see! For now, the mission is to get to India safely, not let M fall sick, get the God awful visa taken care of, have a good time, shop as much as we can, meet everyone we can, eat all the yummy food, dance at M's wedding, meet the family and be back in one piece each.

M n N are so different and have such changing personalities, it's fun to see. M is definitely the more inquisitive one. She likes to touch and feel the texture. N loves to bang things, ofcourse! M chuckles, N laughs and he's very ticklish. VERY! He loves to play rough. N has more separation anxiety than M. Earlier M was the leader, now they both do their own thing, once in a while wanting the same toy or space and then the fun knows no bounds ;)

Their first B'day is coming upon us fast! Why is time flying ? WAIT, HANG ON, WILL YOU?

Musings

On babies:

M n N have been crawling for a month now. It's a really exciting time for us. They've reached quite a few nooks and crannies in the house. M is the leader and N follows her. To make things more interesting, G got them a musical ball, so the kids now roll it and follow it. It's a riot.

The kids have now taken it upon themselves to not give us restful night sleep. So anywhere between 3-6 times we wake up. O well.

Something I am dying to share. M has an exersaucer , which has a little house on it. When the chimney on the house is pressed, there is a button on the house that needs to be pressed for the chimney to pop out. So M discovered the chimney, but instead of using the button to pop back the chimney, she jumps in the exersaucer, this pops the chimney out. I sat observing her one day, and I was amazed at her and I thought let me teach her the button usage. So I got up and showed her the button and took her fingers to it and all that jazz. The moment I stood up, she pressed the chimney and jumped on the exersaucer, sure enough the chimney popped out and she looked up at me and grinned :D

We were out for a walk, the entire family and we were pushing the stroller a bit fast, we didn't realise how fast, till we saw M holding on to N's arm. Isn't that 'aww' or what!?

The kids celebrated their first Rakhi and Janmashtmi. There was a riot on Rakhi day, with not one of them interested in the Rakhis, both wanting the rattle toy N was gifting M :D
Janmashtmi was more enjoyable. M n N really enjoyed the croaking their Mom, Dad and Uncle V displayed. How I love dressing them up. Like G says, I love playing doll. :D

On movies seen:

I don't know why I wanted to see My name is Khan. But, having seen it, the only thing good about the movie is SRKs and Kajol's performance. For a change they've acted well and it's not OTT. But the movie itself is very hard to believe, an asperger's guy as a salesman? So much hatred against a Muslim boy in liberal SF? FBI didn't contact Khan's family? Seriously KJo needs to know more about FBI. Which country's intelligence doesn't immediately pounce on the family? And SRK can reach hurricane hit small town in GA but aid cannot? Again, which century are we in? And this is America, it couldn't possibly happen, when the news channels are covering it! KJo tried to make an international movie, but he couldn't leave behind bollywood cliches. tsk tsk.

I caught up on 'Love story' the movie adaptation of Eric Segal's Love story. I had seen this movie years ago with my sister. Actually we'd see it very often, we had the VHS for it (yeah VHS!!!). So it was there on netflix for play, and I plonked myself on the couch, while the kids were asleep and entered the world of Oliver and Jenny. I love the movie, it's got everything and to me it is one of the best adaptations of a book into a movie. Harry Potter is really the winner *BIG grin*

Random thoughts:
We have already received two Diwali party invites, I can't believe it's that time of the year already! How exciting! Which means, I need to start planning our Diwali party!

M n N's first Halloween is coming up! It's a toss up between Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia, and Hansel and Gretel. Any thoughts anyone?

This whole priority inbox thing from Google, might be better used in Outlook I feel.

Long weekend beckons me!!! Hallelujah, it's been a really long time since the last one! Haffun y'all!! ( in true Texan spirit)

About Sisters

It's very appropriate that I should post this on Rakshabandhan.

My sister is my best friend. So much that I have not sought 'girl friends' simply because I had her.
Things were not so hunky dory though always. She and I are very different in nature and temperament. When we were high-middle schoolers, she and I didn't see eye to eye. She was the fun loving, total mast girl. She had a huge friends circle, she hated politics loved novels. I was the idealist who had fun debating and writing poems. We didn't necessarily have things in common, but we never ratted each other out. (Those things cannot be shared :D)
But times changed, she became the vice head girl, we moved to a big city, I was no more in a small town where I could be 'un-cool' and still survive. I am not sure if I took a cue from her, or she helped me out, but I changed for the world. Inside I was still the same, earth-hugger, BJP-hater, socialist, secular but I kept my feelings and thoughts to myself. Knowing no one was interested in my POV.
We grew up, and we weren't living in the same city. We weren't very close anymore. But there was love, we cried when we parted, we cried when we met, we missed each other, but we had our own friends.
She got married and then things really changed. Till then, Mom and I had been very close. We confided in each other, I didn't see the need to hide things from Mom and that made the relationship/friendship really strong. But Didi was married now, she had a lot to talk to Mom about and Mom had a lot of advice and help to offer. I, on the other hand was only teaching her how to use yahoomail.
I moved to the US. Now, things were completely different. I did not have Mom or my BFF around me. I had Didi. And we didn't know this, but we became really really close. I could tell her anything and she would fiercely protect me. She was probably mothering me, but I was not bothered about it. I didn't seek girl friends, if I had friends, I didn't care to be close to them. I had my sister, who I knew would always be there for me.
This lasted for exactly 7 years.
Now she and I are not in the same city. I miss her to bits, I can't just call her and tell her I want to eat this or go to her because I need to put my head on her lap.
I don't know what to say now, except that you will always be my best friend.

Aaah..very mushy, senti post. I guess I miss her a bit too much.

About going to the movies

Now that we are parents, going out to see a movie is a luxury and this weekend when we went, I thought about all important instances when I had gone to catch a movie, the time, the scenario and the fact that I love to watch movies.

The first memory I have of going to see a movie and not watching it on VCR (Yes, we used VCR back then) is going to the movie 'Maine pyar kiya' with my sister and my friend and her Mom and sister. My Mom wasn't in town and Dad was at work and there was no way we would be taken to see it, so we decided to go with friends. It was weird going out without our parents and I was all of 9-10 years old, why would I find this movie entertaining. But this is my first memory, so well..
Next I remember moving to Delhi and going out to see 'Jurassic Park' with my sister and her friends. O how I was smitten by this one friend of hers, he was very polite to me the entire time and I mistook it for love. Heheh...fun times still !
Then my cousin moved to Delhi and these were the all important 11-12th years, when every soul wanting to be an engineer or a doctor (and those were our only choices) was neck deep in books and not allowed to think about movies and such. But my cousin coaxed my parents and she and I had a fun time seeing 'My best friends wedding' and some more. The whole multiplex rage was just starting in Delhi and those were crazy days. It's a very important memory because of the timing of these movies, I would come back from it and get back to my dreary books.
Next I left for the land-of-a-1000-stories - Jabalpur. Now here, we were not permitted to be friendly with boys, but I was who I was and I got friendly with R. (Poor soul, probably repents it till now). So on his B'day he invited the girls and guys out to catch "Mummy". Boy, was that a fun evening! It was pouring rain, our college was on strike and we didn't really have anything much to do. The movie made us all happy and it paved the way for the 999 other stories :D
Next is the time when S came to Delhi and we had to give our TOEFL exam. It was in the afternoon and we had but a day to spend in Delhi together. So we decided to do what anyone would do before an exam, we went to catch a movie. Ironically we saw American Desi. A laugh riot and it helped to calm our non existent exam blues. Memorable for the timing and the stir we caused amongst our parents :D (If you haven't seen this movie, it's a must watch.)
The first 3D movie I saw 'SuperMan'. Such a dumb movie. And my friend S and I were late coming in, and we had to sit almost at the foot of the giant screen. Very painful in every way, not to mention the wrath of the friends who suffered coz of us.
Next milestone in the memory lane is when G n I went for our first movie together. We went to see Click with Adam Sandler. Memorable for all the reasons you're thinking of and some more. We weren't engaged then, and boy was there a whole furor. (Coz ours is an arranged marriage and till it is not arranged, going out for a movie was not the acceptable behaviour).
While I was pregnant, my bum chum A and I decided to go see a movie. She was just out of sorts and I wanted to get out of the rut, so we went to see a movie. That movie turned out to be MJ's 'This is it'. It was memorable, because it was so much fun. Because we got to do it after a really long time, I guess the time b/w her and my pregnancy. And it was MJ, who's music we grew up to and it gave us goosebumps :)
The next memorable movie is when G n I went to see 'Avatar' this is after the kids were born and we going to be leaving them with the Nanny and going to catch the movie. I cried half way through the movie because I am emotional like that :D
And that is my movie journey so far. I bet we'll add so many more like when the kids go to see their first movie, when N and G decide they want to see their kinda movie. When the kids go off to movies alone w/o us and when G and I are old and senile and we'll go with our grand kids :)
Hail Bollywood, Hollywood!!!!

My Sins Against Gender Stereotypes

My Sins Against Gender Stereotypes – tagged by IHM

This is a tag from Anu:

If you are a woman,

Have you ever wanted something that is considered ‘manly’ ? Like a basketball, a cell phone, a dog, a camera or a new laptop? A new car or motor bike? Ever wanted to be a pilot? A doctor or not a nurse? And the manliest want of them all – The remote!

As a kid did you enjoy playing with a bat and a ball?

There was a time when books were considered ‘manly’, women authors had to pretend to be men – would you say books are still rather manly – women should want to embroider and crochet?

If you are a man,

Have you ever wanted something that only women are supposed to want – like bags, shoes, clothes, creams, perfumes, babies, flowers? A peaceful home and a happy family? Have you ever been afraid of the dark or of insects?

As a kid did you ever want to play ‘teacher-teacher’, cooking or did you like playing with a doll? Have you ever enjoyed cooking? Bought something in pink? Loved chocolates?

So Anu is right in saying that I when I read about this Tag on IHM's blog, I thought it to be a weird tag. But after reading a few posts on it, I started thinking, it might actually be interesting!
So here goes:
1. I am not the kinds who will sit pretty and not get my hands dirty, be it to change tires, haul things or help people move.
2. I love a lot of sports and it's not just in passing, but actually watching. Can't say the same for playing, I used to love playing volleyball in school, didn't keep it up after that.
3. I absolutely love reading about gadgets and if I can have them, then even better. Laptops being the most important.
4. I love to discuss politics.
5. I absolutely hate shopping! Detest it with a vengeance.
6. I hate the color pink, I have exactly 1 pink top in my closet.
7. I hate saying 'What's going on Babe' or some such thing to my girl friends.
8. I would much rather wear comfy shoes than wear pretty ones.
9. I prefer action packed thriller movies to chick flicks.
10. I have exactly 3 close girl friends + my sister. Most of my best friends are boys. (It's just happened that way, I haven't consciously done that. It's easier for me to talk to guys than girls.)

Alright, so here's my tag list.
1. Akansha Because I want to see if you come up with anything :)
2. J Man Would be fun to get a Man's POV.
3. Rajat, I know you don't have a blog, you can use my space here, but I want to know what your girly ways are :D

It turned out to be a fun blog. I have not mentioned some things from my childhood, where in girls always treated me suspiciously because I was too boyish for them :D

Newhoo, fun tag, thanks for tagging Anu!

Being busy

I have begun to notice how a number of us always have the same answer to the question 'How are you?' Ubiquitous answer : 'BUSY'. Or answers with the word busy in it.

Why are we all so busy? Or are we really busy? Do we like it? Do we surround ourselves with so much to do and then complain that we are busy?

I think lately, the trend is to be busy. I have noticed it in my extended family and in my friends. The moment you ask them what is going on, the first thing that pops out of their mouth is 'Busy
' . And when they say it there is a glee in their eyes. And when I tell them I am fine and life is good, they are surprised by my reaction. As if expecting a completely different answer.
Some of my family members will come up and to me and ask me 'Aur kaisa chal raha hai, busy busy'? And I am very perplexed, because I am not busy really. I have a job, which maybe gets demanding sometimes, but I usually don't carry the work home. I make good use of the 8 hours I am at work. When I come home, my time is for my family and friends and the things I want to do. Cooking is a fun thing, it does not make me busy. Having kids and playing with them, bathing them, feeding them, doesn't make me busy. Having a husband and spending time with him doesn't make me busy. Exercising is a choice, it again doesn't make me busy. We love to watch movies, we make time to do. We love to go out, we make time to do it. We love our friends and family and we will make time to do it. None of these activities make us busy.
I don't understand the people who say they are always busy or have 'chores' to finish. Why is it that your life is so complicated.

About falling sick and what matters most

The past few months have been not so nice to me health wise.
First the pregnancy, I had hyper tension through out my pregnancy and I was forced to stay home most of it, including working from home.
After that got over, heartburn took over and I had to take a few days off for tests and Dr visits.
Now it seems I have gallstones and I will again need some time off for tests and an maybe surgery.
During all this, my family, esp G and my Mom have been super duper supportive and helpful. And I cannot thank the Nanny enough, for just being there and giving me peace of mind knowing my babies were safe, at home and being fed.
But the one person I have not thanked enough is my Boss, J. He has been extremely supportive and let me do my thing - i.e. get better. I have not slacked at work, I always work around all my numerous Dr visits. But it still means a lot to the boss, because he is still answerable to people above him and my peers. I really don't know if there is that much pressure on him, but he's never made me aware of it and I really appreciate that. (We had a round of layoffs, I came out unscathed and he told me he had my back, isn't that awesome?)
Even with the kids being so small, he lets me work from home sometimes and that is the single most important thing that anyone has done for me, apart from my Mom being there to help us with the birth and the first few months of course. Being a new parent is never easy, but our world couldn't have been as comfortable as it has been had it not been for him. Once somebody had asked me what I thought of him and I had meant it then and mean it now "he's the best boss anyone could get".
Boy..total suck-up post this sounds like. But seriously it is not that. He doesn't know of the existence of this blog and I am not writing this to get any brownie points. I truly am very grateful to him. You totally Rock JHB.

Why not the whole shibang?

This is something which always bothers me. Should I be happy that I finally know the news? And ignore that I wasn't part of the tumultuous thought process that went into it? Or should I be mad? Because someone who calls me their best friend or the one person they cannot live without telling, wasn't informed. I know that there are things people don't want to share, but then why call me the most important person and then have these special off limit topics?
Am I wrong?
In the end, I am happy for the person of course! There is no way that I am not happy, but there is this little worm in my head that keeps telling me that I should have known from the start and not when all is happy and all smiles. I would have liked to be there for you my friend, I am not a fair weather friend, as you very well know.
If you are reading this post and you think it is you, then yes it is you! :D

My-brother-hit-me (NOT)

On Saturday, 15th May, I am in the kitchen, G is out, the kids are in their gym. The kids are getting very mobile, pushing their way 5 inches or so :) I always lay the kids down far enough, so they don't harm each other, but it really doesn't work anymore because they move towards each other so easily.
Suddenly, I hear Manya cry very loudly. So I run to see what's happened and sure enough Neev has his chubby little hand near Manya's head, and she is bawling. I immediately put some distance between them, laughing and thinking to myself, this is where it will begin 'Mom, Neev is being mean to me'.
Fast forward to today, again both the kids are in the gym, fairly apart, and this time I am sitting and watching them perform their antics. Suddenly Manya begins to cry, Neev is far from her and I am watching and she cries for no apparent reason. That is when I think, so maybe the other day also Neev hadn't really done anything to her and she was crying for a different reason. (Sorry Neevou, I was very quick to put blame)(This time she was crying , I think, because of a heavy diaper). Who knows what had happened before.
Nehoo..the kids are getting bigger and stronger. They have been on the verge of flipping over for 2 months now, but just wont do it. Both get stuck because one arm is in their way and they cannot figure out what to do. I don't know if I should freak out or not. All other milestones are in place. I will wait for the Dr's appointment this month.
My babies will be 6 months this month, I cannot believe how fast they are growing!!!

in a few years time...

..when you guys can read, you will laugh at yourselves. My little rut rags :)

Manya, you have a mind of your own, a very determined mind, mind you! (heh, i like how that sounds).
You love the mobile on your crib, you will be crying bloody murder but the moment I put you in the crib, for 2 minutes there is utter peace and quite. After having seen the mobile no less than a thousand times, it still fascinates you. For a full two minutes (and depending on my state of mind, that can very long or very short) you will be transfixed with it. It will not be moving or giving out any music, but just the hanging cats will keep you mesmerized.
And then suddenly remembering your purpose in life, you will start again.

In other occasions, when life is more settled and the purpose of life is to 'talk'. Manya will talk the ears off of the little cats hanging from her mobile. 'Umm Umm' and so on .. it's the cutest sound in the world.
You patiently lie down waiting to be swaddled, even smiling at us, when we set you down in your crib, it takes you exactly 5 minutes to get one arm and one leg out. Those 5 minutes are such fun. O, my little monster, you love to challenge your parents don't you?
You hate being on your tummy. You cry and cry, your face gets all red and you get so hot. And when you turn over, you don't realise that the misery is over, you still cry for a few minutes and then it's a funny laugh.
Manya darling ( I say it like Mona Darling)..I love you so much. I like your determined mind, always be the same, but always use it constructively ;)

Neev, you have the cutest smile :) You smile like your Dad and it makes my heart ache. I just love the gurgling laugh you laugh at no prompting at all. You laugh with your mouth open and many a times when I am on the phone with your Dad, particularly angry about something and you guys are not around, he will say to me 'think about Neev laughing with his mouth open' and it makes me smile and all is well with the world again :)
You like tummy time better than Manya, you just lie there, chilled out. You love the TV, every time you hear the TV, you crane your neck to see it. Twisting and turning just to get one glimpse. You have a very active peripheral vision, if we so much as cross it, you sense us and then want to be held. You have become very strong. If you don't want the bottle, you can flick it out of our hands. You love to 'talk' too, in your own funny and cute way, you're discovering new voices so you love to experiment.
You both can turn over now, but don't really want to do it all the time. You guys are also discovering each other and like to lie down side by side. You guys often smile at each other. Your Dad and I can watch you for hours. It's our favourite pass time. If your Dad and I are alone, guess what our favourite topic is!! :)
Happy 5th month B'day babies.

8 weeks old

Today is my first day back to work after the twins were born. It's so hard to imagine that so much has happened since the last time I sat on this chair!!!
The last time I was in the office was on the 9th of December, I was in for my 1/2 a day a week in the office. After that I am coming today to work and that too for a full day!

14th Dec now seems like it was so long ago.
I dont want to write about my birthing experience, but I do want to write about the moments around it. So on 13th (Sunday) I had been feeling uneasy all day, a headache had been plaging me. We had gone to Walmart the day before and I had a little pain also, but the usual Braxton Hicks, nothing out of the ordinary. I had checked my BP and it was fairly high. I just decided to rest and take it easy. By evening I had major anxiety and Mom suggested I take my BP again. It was high again (157/90). At this point we decided we would call the Dr and see. She suggested I go to the hospital as a precaution. We had originally been planning to go for a drive to calm my nerves, so we were all dressed (Mom, G n I). But now we needed to be better prepared. So we got the already prepped Hospital Bag, put Dodo in the crate, gave him food and water, not sure when we would be back and G packed his laptop.
In the triage, they monitored my BP, heartrate and that of the babies, my BP was not coming down, infact it shot up more and so it was decided that the Dr would operate in the morning. I was super glad about this, because I didn't want my babies born on the 13th (I am superstitious that way ;) )

We were all very excited that night, G n Mom barely got any sleep, I was thankfully given meds to calm down and so I slept. At 4 G left to get Mom, I was supposed to go into surgery at 7. The prep started at 6:30. I could see Mom was very tense, I am not sure how I was, I think I was very curious about the whole process more than anything else. From the birthing class we had attended we knew that I wouldn't feel a thing during the CS. I nonetheless asked my sister and she confirmed, it wouldn't be anything. I remember crying in the OT when G came in, he had been taken to a different room to change. Mom was waiting outside. When I saw G, I couldn't stop crying. I realised I was scared for the babies. G kept saying soothing things to me. O how I love him. He had even remembered to bring the cell phone chargers to the hospital. At 7:15 they gave me the spinal numbing meds and @ 7:20 out came Manya and at 7:21 Neev. There is nothing I can say which can properly say how we both felt at that moment. It was a while before I was given my babies to see and touch. And much later almost 2 hours later I held them for the first time and fed them.

And here we are today, 8 weeks old today.
It's been such a roller coaster with our little babies. I cannot imagine how lucky we have been. I appreciate motherhood and parenthood more and more each day. It's not easy bringing up kids. I am just very thankful to God to have given us this opportunity.

My Mom has been the pillar of strength that I always knew her to be. Despite her own physical limitations, she has given us all the comfort a new Mom needs. Again this is something close and special to me and I cannot write about it.

More on Neev and Manya later.

It's my first day back and I miss my babies so much. Ok, gotta go call them.

And so we went to India

High time I recapped my trip. For M's sake atleast.

So M and I went to India around the thanksgiving weekend last year. It was going to be a short two week visit. So this was the first time M was going to fly and I was, to put it gently, petrified. I didn't know how M would be, how I would be and how the follow passengers would tolerate us. I had been reading as many online resources as possible, talking to all and sundry. Finally it was decided that I definitely needed a bassinet seat, new toys, pacifier (for when the plane took off and landed) and all the other essentials. I had even armed myself with infant benadryl with the recommended dosage in hand.
So the day come, after tearful good byes to Daddy G and Baby N, we got checked in and had some time to kill before boarding. So M and I started roaming around the really pretty terminal D on DFW airport. Close to boarding time, I gave M the benadryl to help her sleep in the plane. (Yes come on judge me, hurl your stones and call me names, see if I care) Just then my sister called and she just said in passing sometimes benadryl backfires and kids get hyper and I said yeah I guess it could happen. So happily and with some difficulty M n I sat down on my seat.
As the plane started taxing, I gave M a bottle to prevent her ears from popping. Once the plane was in the air, M decided this was the best time to show all she had learned in the past 11 months. So we started to play and we played some more. I started getting sleepy..coz you know that's what we do on a plane. But M had decided that wasn't going to nap. So the whole Benadryl thing..completely true. It does backfire *sometimes*!!!! The plane ride was pretty good, the bassinet was pretty useless, M wasn't comfy in it at all. But we didn't mind it, M or I.
On our AMS to DEL flight, we met the best fellow traveler ever. I have forgotten her name and that really sucks and have misplaced the phone number :( She was very helpful and although none of my fellow passengers, in the same row, had kids, they were all very helpful with M and M wasn't howling or screaming either. In the entire flight, M cried once and this was when I was catching my 2nd flight, she was super duper hungry by then and I had to do the security check and the water was thrown away, so I couldn't make formula till we boarded. Poor girl was just not happy and rightly so. But those 15 minutes were all my champion cried.
My friend commented later that we tend to underestimate our kids..they are pretty happy in most situations.

Delhi was as usual wonderful. Just being with my parents and M getting so much love and being pampered by her G Parents. Of course we shopped and again M was a trooper, she would hang out in her baby bjorn sling. BTW, strollers are not useful in Indian markets like Lajpat in Delhi or Crawford and Santa Cruz in Bombay.
I ate a lot!!! All kinds of chaat, Chinese, S. Indian, Pizza, not so much Mughlai (I wasn't keen on it), sizzlers, Rajasthani food, gujju food. I can't remember if there was anything else that we ate. Kanpur was a thrill, although I was there just for a day to visit my Grand Father and Dad's family there. It was a blast. We were treated with a lot of love and care. My nieces took an instinct liking to M and she loved them too. It all worked out well. G Dad was happy to see us too! Of course ;)
We took a flight from Lucknow to Bombay which was routed through Delhi. I have to add here, Indians are not helpful passengers at all. With an infant, stroller and backup, I had my hands full and I needed time to do things. But the person behind me in the line at the security check, was way too impatient. While I struggled to get my luggage on the conveyor, he huffed and puffed twice behind me. I turned around and gave him the apologetic smile, that I have begun to use when I start feeling guilty about inconveniencing people. But he just ignored it and went ahead of me. HOW RUDE! This happened a couple of times, at least. And the worst thing, no one offers to help! But there was something really nice about traveling in Kingfisher airlines. The air hostesses are super sweet and my baby won them over. The food is super excellent, something the US internal flights could learn from. And I didn't have to pay an arm and a leg for the tickets, plus they didn't charge me for baggage! Beat that over priced, charging for baggage US Airlines.
Bombay is a joy always, we are treated like royalty and we gorged on some of the most delicious street food and home food and not-street food. Great fun! M won the hearts of her Uncle and Auntie and she got to play with all kinds of incredible musical toys. What a joy!
Then we traveled to Jabalpur for my cousin's wedding. This time, I wasn't worried about the train journey, though it was long. 18 hours. The one challenge is using the restroom, where do you park your kid?? But M and I mastered that too! We had a side birth and that is not fun. It's very narrow and M was not happy and neither was I. So she just slept on me. It seemed most convenient. It wasn't the most comfortable journey, but we had fun. M on her second train ride (first was from DEL to KNP). The best part was drinking 'station wali chai'. The best chai there is right!
The wedding was a blast! Met every single member of my family, but 3. How amazing is that? So many new faces, so many old, some new wrinkles, some grey hair, a few extra pounds, a few less pounds. But hearts? Still the same! Big and full of love! M and I were loved and showered like nobody's business. And the best part about traveling with your parents? They will happily look after your kid, even willing take her from you, while you go socialising with the family. My cousin M who was getting married, looked super dashing and a beautiful, smiling bride he had. Again we had amazing food on both the days and then we bid adieu to the family. A very sad good bye.
This train journey was pretty much the same, except, Mom and I gossiped and we had puri and aloo sabzee with chai. Got me super duper nostalgic and happy. But I have to say, these Air-conditioned coaches take the fun out of traveling in a train. To me a train ride is always associated with looking outside the window, and having the air on your face. Calling out to vendors when the train stops and eating all kinds of delicious goodies and buying novels. O well, being climatically conditioned with the heater or cooler isn't that bad either I guess :D
I was very sad to part from my parents, they were even more sad to see M go. She on the other hand was just hanging out in her stroller. My flight to AMS was delayed by 3 hours, which we got to know on reaching the airport. I nonetheless checked in and strolled around the spanking new international terminal in DEL airport. Is it good or is it beautiful. I hadn't had a chance to have McVeggie burger, I greedily had one. M just dozed in the stroller, it was all b/w 12 - 4 am after all. Of course when we boarded the flight, the entire flight was sleepy and M and I were in dream world within a matter of seconds. This time too I made a mad dash to get to mu second flight, since the first flight had been late, we made it just as the security check was happening. KLM flight attendants suck BTW. And EU has very strict policies about carrying liquids on board. Unlike US and India, I couldn't take even water for formula. But they are happy about letting you wear shoes! Haha. O well.
This flight was mostly empty, so M and I stretched out in 5 seats...well we needed only 2, but we had 5 at our disposal!! M played around some, ate some and then fell asleep. When she did, for the first time in 3 flights, I found myself wide awake and nothing to do, so I switched on the in flight entertainment. On the previous 3 flights, I just didn't know where the time went and with M being on my lap, it was hard to eat let alone watch something. So I saw bits and pieces of "Despicable Me". Really cool movie.
We landed in Dallas, in the afternoon on a Sunday. I couldn't wait to unite with the other half of my family. Our very good friend S also came to the airport to receive us. N played it cool, he didn't laugh, grin or cry when he saw me. I on the other hand was a crying mess. They played more cool with each other, M didn't go about hugging N or vice versa. They just got back to playing and within a few minutes fighting. Such an anti climax :D
Our friend A came over with a cake and food. That was super thoughtful.
After everyone had left, I went to take a shower and give M a bath. Because no matter where you go, the best shower head is always at home :)

PS: M didn't have any trouble sleeping with me when in India, or sleeping without me when we got back.
We were completely healthy in India. Yes we did take precautions, but I ate at roadside thelas and such with not a care.
KLM's food while coming back is better than while going.
Some people need to learn manners.
I have super co-operative kids.
G is the best Dad and an even better husband.